You meet a new man and hit it off. You both love to talk and have fun together, and things just click.
But then he stops calling as often and seems to lose interest.
You’re baffled. It was going so well, and he didn’t say anything was wrong.
So what happened?
Let’s step into the mind of men to understand this better. After talking to many men about it, I found some surprising things that make them lose interest.
Let’s take a closer look at 8 little mistakes that women do that make men lose interest.
Some of these might not seem “little” but women sometimes do them very easily, even though they seem like a big deal. I’ll end with some little things that do drive men crazy and make them lose interest.
Mistake #1: Killing the thrill too quickly
A woman reading that might not have any idea what it means.
A man will know instantly: they like chasing a woman, and when she starts talking about being exclusive, the chase is over.
It’s like waiting for Christmas morning, and then you open your presents, the anticipation and excitement is gone.
You see this same effect with free merchandise. If something is free, we often assume it’s not that valuable. “You get what you pay for.” A surprising truth is that customers who overpay are often happier. That seems backwards, doesn’t it? But they feel like they’re getting a really good product.
Someone who buys a BMW, Porsche, or Corvette won’t go around complaining that they spent too much. Just the opposite! They might brag about how much they spent.
In dating, men like to feel like they earned a prize through their own merit.
So let a man chase you. If things go great from the first date, that doesn’t mean that you should drop all other men you’re dating.
Don’t let this new man think that this is a guaranteed thing, because then it’s a boring thing for him.
Mistake #2: Demanding too much from him
Pretend that “Mandy” met a man, it went great, and after a few dates, she assumed they’d start seeing each other more and more.
That can be Mistake #1, listed above, if she goes into committed, comfortable relationship mode too early. You see, that might end any flirting, teasing, and playfulness that men crave.
Even if you’re seeing each other, you can make a man really fall hard if you continue to let him chase you.
Let’s say that Mandy starts expecting him to see her every few nights and begins demanding certain things, which is Mistake #2.
It might not happen that soon, but when a woman starts putting pressure on a man, he can lose interest.
This sounds a little absurd, but we’ve probably all been there. We want a man to fall for us, and then we think that he’ll show his love by doing the things we want.
It can turn into ordering him around, or telling him that he can’t do certain things.
The mistake might also be asking too much, too soon, before he was ready to commit on the same level.
If you want the ultimate secret to make him desire you more…
Mistake #3: Talking about your ex
In a new relationship, exes will come up. There’s a point where you probably need to talk about them, especially if they’re in your life in some form, such as a parenting agreement.
But talking about an ex early on is a big no-no, and will cause a man to lose interest. It doesn’t matter how you’re talking about the ex.
If you’re complaining, that means you’re still hurt and angry, and the ex is still on your mind.
If you’re talking about what good friends you are with your ex, that might indicate future competition and resentment for the new man.
If your new man asks about your ex, keep your answers short and straightforward.
This new man probably wants to know how things stand, so give him an honest answer and move on. Dwelling on your ex in any fashion can cause your new interest to, well, lose interest in you!
Mistake #4: Giving up your life
It’s so exciting to fall in love that it’s easy to focus on your new man. But if you give up your life so you’re always free, he’ll lose interest.
Don’t empty your calendar so you can give all of your time to your new man. Your lives are bound to mix, but it causes problems if you dump your life and try to integrate into his life.
He fell for you the way you were, with your own life and interests, and things to talk about. So if you become someone waiting around to see him, he’ll lose interest.
Keeping your own activities and being unavailable at times makes you more of a catch — see #1 again.
When he gets to see you, it’ll be more special.
And you’ll be happier if you keep your life, friends, and activities, and then you won’t feel like you’re waiting for him to give you some time.
Mistake #5: Gossiping
Gossiping with your girlfriends can be fun, but it can flat-out annoy a man. He probably doesn’t know who you’re talking about, and he’ll see you more negativity, not them.
Studies have shown that when we hear people gossip, the negative feeling we get is attached to the gossiper.
You’re also using time that you could use to talk about your life, goals, dreams, new things you’re learning, or about new things going on in town. Discussing something you’re going through is different. You can share about your life, but don’t dump on your man about people you find irritating — you’ll lose his interest.
Mistake #6: Sending mixed signals
Sending mixed signals will make a man lose interest quicker than anything else.
You might tell him you don’t mind if he goes out with friends…but then you’re hurt when he does and get angry with him.
Men can’t read minds. We want them to know what we really want, but you can’t test a man this way.
It’s not his fault if he goes by what you say. If you’re hurting and say you’re fine, he might not be able to read the subtle body signals, or be able to connect something that happened last week.
One example is asking him, “Do you think that woman is pretty?”
By asking, you’re indicating that it’s okay for him to answer honestly, but he might not realize you’re testing him.
If you say one thing but act another, he’ll also be confused, and then not know what to do or how to act around you. And he’ll lose interest.
Mistake #7: Doing everything for him
Women show care by doing little things, but men can get annoyed if their woman is trying to do everything for them.
If he’s losing interest, and you don’t know why, consider how many things you try to do for him.
You’re just trying to take care of him, but he might feel like you’re controlling him.
Doing too much, too early, can make him lose interest.
Mistake #8: Always being late and other little things
You probably have friends who are always late to everything. It seems that they can never plan enough time to do their makeup.
Men get annoyed by that too and lose interest, even though some women see it as a power play.
You can make men lose interest with some other seemingly innocent little things like:
- Fishing for complements
- Critiquing other women around you
- Texting other people all the time
- Being more engaged with your phone than him (looking at news, FB, Instragram, or whatever)
- Complaining too often
- Being too picky
- Having a negative outlook
- Always changing plans—saying you’d rather go somewhere else or do something else whenever he suggests something
- Always playing devil’s advocate
- Agreeing to everything he says and not having your own opinion
Maybe you spotted something you’ve done in that list—I think we’ve all done a few of them at different times.
So, now you know 8 things women do that make men lose interest. You probably want to know how to keep a man interested. It’s huge turn on to men if you know your worth.
He met this amazing woman and wants to date her…so don’t doubt yourself!
You have interesting ideas, cool activities, and plans. Men love to talk up their girlfriends and tell others about how smart, cool, fun, and amazing they are.
Many of the mistakes listed above happen because women get afraid that things aren’t going according to plan. They try to read into it too hard, and try to take action to keep things going well.
But when a man falls for you, he’s falling for you the way you are. You shouldn’t have to change or start doing things to keep him interested. When you’re worried, remind yourself that he chose you. He already decided that you’re good enough. In fact, he decided that you’re more than good enough. He wanted to be with you!
One big difference between men and woman is: Men want the woman to stay the same while the woman wants to change the man. So the simple answer is: continue to be yourself and enjoy the relationship, and don’t try to change the man!
Remember that he fell for you and likes you, and you deserve to enjoy your life and be yourself.
Check the mistakes above to ensure you’re not causing him to lose interest, and then you can relax and focus on nurturing an open, caring, committed relationship.