Missing someone is one of the most profoundly desolate emotions a person can experience in their lifetime.
It is almost as if there is a gaping hole inside you that nothing else can fill, and you can feel the emptiness painfully and frequently.
When you are away from the one you love in whichever form, the pain is almost palpable.
As much as you want to and even try to think about anything other than missing him, it’s like your brain is wired so that he is your one single thought no matter how much effort you put into preoccupying yourself with other things.
Sometimes, a breakup happens, and you are left with your heart broken into so many little pieces that you cannot fathom picking them up all by your lonesome. It is too hurtful.
You know that you are better off without him, and you wish you could tell your brain that, so it could finally stop reminding you of him… but you just can’t.
He is a constant in your thought process, and it kills you every single time his face pops up in your head.
You are broken. You need him. You want him… and you desperately miss him. So what do you do?
How does one simply forget about the one who made your days run faster and your nights feel like seconds?
How does one go about their day suddenly without their other half?
Does it ever get easier to pretend like you don’t miss feeling his breath next to yours?
Does it get easier getting used to sleeping by yourself in the bed you shared with him for so long?
I’m not going to sugar coat it and say it’s going to be a piece of cake. It’s not.
Missing him is a fucked up thing, and getting used to living a full life without him is going to take time, patience, and tears.
You’re going to look at his side of the bed and weep that he’s not there keeping you warm.
You’re going to randomly hear a song he absolutely loves, and you’ll suddenly feel the loneliness more than ever before.
It’s going to be a tough process, but it’s going to happen. You are going to get over him. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not even next month.
But one day, you’ll just wake up, and you’ll realize that you’ve finally slept soundly without tears streaming down your face.
And that is going to be a small (but significant) victory!
It never happens overnight.
You cannot tell yourself: ‘“Okay, I no longer want to miss him!’’ and expect it to stop.
But it is going to happen when you least expect it, and it’s going to feel like such a relief when you finally do.
If there is a loved one you miss enormously and you wish you could ease the pain and make life more bearable, keep on reading… it gets better.
I have collected some empowering and comforting ways that will help you cope with missing the one you love.
They have been a saving grace for me when I was reeling from a rough breakup, and I truly hope they bring you closer to healing and happiness as well.
6 comforting ways that will help you cope when you miss him
1. Embrace what you’re feeling and give yourself time to heal from this
Nobody has the right to tell you how long it’s acceptable to grieve. Only you know yourself and exactly how you’re feeling inside.
This is why it is important to let yourself feel what you’re feeling.
You’ve lost somebody important to you, and it’s tough finding your way back to your old self.
Let your emotions out, and cry if you need to!
Only after you’ve let yourself experience the pain and sadness will you be able to get through it once this stage is over.
But don’t rush it. Take as long as you need, and slowly find your way back.
It’s okay to be sad, and it’s okay to feel lost. As long as you see a glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel that will lead you back to the light.
It’s there, and it’s waiting for you when you’re ready to see it.
Never forget that the pain is only temporary. Your happiness awaits whenever you’re ready to get back to it.
2. Do you miss him or just the idea of having somebody by your side?
This really got me. After my most recent breakup, I was absolutely crushed and inconsolable.
I cried day in and day out, and nothing anybody said or did helped me get better. All I wanted was him back in my arms never leaving my side.
But what I failed to see back than (because I refused to admit it to myself) was that it wasn’t him who I was missing so badly.
It was simply having somebody by my side.
I was so used to being in a relationship, that being alone was torture. It’s like I lost a limb that I couldn’t function without anymore.
But the thing is… I was perfectly capable of being on my own.
I did love having a man by my side, but he wasn’t the reason I felt whole. It was me. I was completely fulfilled on my own.
He just added to my happiness!
And when I realized how pathetic I was being in my refusal to let go, I finally got myself together and realized that for as long as I refuse to admit that I can do this, it’s going to be torture.
And that’s the best advice I can give you!
Don’t let yourself feel like you’re not enough! Don’t let yourself think that you NEED a man to feel whole!
You don’t! You absolutely CAN and will get over him and kick a** while doing so.
Realize that you’re strong enough to stand alone until the right guy comes into your life.
Because when he appears, you are never going to have to learn how to get over him. Because you’re never going to be left without him.
3. Remind yourself of the things you love and are passionate about
Now is the best time to get back to the things you loved doing before you met him!
You have so much free time on your hands, and there is nothing better than spending it on hobbies and people you love.
Rediscover who you were, and learn to love that girl again!
The only way you’re going to stop missing him is by doing things that don’t remind you of him.
Did you sing in a band? Do you love painting? Are you a passionate volleyball player?
Do whatever you did back when you didn’t know him, and get back to your roots.
You’re going to have a blast rediscovering your old self, and you are genuinely going to stop missing him from all the fun you’ll be having.
There will always be rough patches and dark days. That is perfectly normal.
But for as long as you keep finding those little reasons to get up each and every day and decide to wake up with a positive mindset, you’re going to be just fine.
4. Have a girls’ night in with all your favorite ladies
What’s the best cure for anything? Spending time with your besties of course!
They are the ones who can bring out the best in you, so let them help you during this difficult time!
Organize a girls’ night in, get some wine, cake and chick flicks, and let the games begin!
Have you ever had a bad time with your girls? I don’t think so… so remind yourself of why you love them, and let them be your rock.
Only one rule… no boy talk!
Make it a night dedicated solely to you and your ladies and some good, old fun!
You can play board games, talk about your oldest memories of each other and reminisce about your most embarrassing stories, and laugh your a**ess off.
Nothing is off limits but boys. For one night, cross them off your list, and let the good times roll.
5. Go to the gym, and sweat your worries away
You may not believe me, but exercise is one of the most amazing things you can do after a bad breakup!
You can literally sweat it off and leave all your problems in the gym! You are going to feel so liberated and free. I promise!
I was so hesitant to try, but I finally caved in and signed up, and I never looked back!
There is something about hard work, exercise, and helping your body heal and be as strong as possible that just makes you feel all kinds of amazing!
You won’t know it until you try it. It’s going to give you a new purpose, and you’re never going to be able to stop going once you get used to it.
It’s always a struggle in the beginning, so don’t let it scare you away! But once your body gets used to the regimen, it’s going to be freaking fantastic!
And suddenly, you’re going to be okay again. Just like that!
6. Watch your favorite movies, and read your favorite books
Getting lost in a world of full of numerous intriguing characters and situations is a fantastic way to spend some quality time with yourself without letting yourself miss him or even think about him.
Go watch that movie that you know always brings a smile on your face. Get lost in an imaginary world and root for your favorite character.
If it’s a sad movie, so be it! Cry your eyes out and let it all out. If it’s a comedy that cracks you up every single time, even better.
Laugh your a** off and enjoy it because you deserve it. Whatever helps you cope is what you should be doing.
If you’re into books, grab your favorite, and let yourself wander off in a story that makes you feel as if you’re the one living it.
Whenever you catch yourself missing him, decide to help yourself stop. This is where movies and books come in handy.
They are the best distractions from the real world, real problems, and real tears.
And everybody needs that escape sometimes.
With a little luck, it’s going to preoccupy you so much that you’re not going to think about him or your tough times for the rest of the day.
For as long as you’re adamant at helping yourself get through this, you’re going to succeed.
Go at your own pace, and don’t listen to anybody telling you otherwise.
We are all individuals, and we all experience things in our own way. Do what works for you and listen to your gut feeling.
That is all you can do, and that is more than enough.